Scenes from a Bar
by Kitsune Moonstar
Summary: Various incidents at bars with the Turks.
1. A Celebratory Drink

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters. This is set during the game sometime after Reno is let out of the hospital.

* * *

**A Celebratory Drink**

Elena was nervous, but she was trying not to let that show. Oddly enough, she wasn't nervous because she had been dragged off to a bar for a drinking session with her co-workers. Elena could handle a drinking session or eight. It was making a good impression on her co-workers that she worried about. She was afraid that she hadn't exactly put her best foot forward. But she was new at this, damn it, and it was intimidating. It also didn't help that she had been nursing a crush on Tseng for several years now.

But for better or for worse, she was stuck at this bar with them, and she might as well make the best of it. With any luck, she would be working with Reno, Rude, and Tseng for a long time to come, and whatever she could learn about them would probably be a help. She was also well aware that this could quite possibly be a test. Elena couldn't help wrinkling her nose a little at their choice of bars though. This place was an utter dive. Rude caught the gesture and just shrugged.

"We haven't been thrown out of this one yet," was his explanation.

That didn't exactly bode well. Still, Elena was determined to stick this out. So she sat in the dingy, little dive and let Reno order a drink for her. When the tequila arrived, Elena raised an eyebrow. How predictable.

"Too strong for you, rookie?" Reno teased.

Elena just shrugged her shoulders a little and knocked back the shot, not bothering with the lime or salt. She didn't like tequila, but it was easy enough to down. Reno goggled a little. Rude gave her a look. Tseng's expression didn't really change. Elena ordered a drink she would actually like. She might as well enjoy herself.

Nearly four hours later, Reno was getting incoherent. Elena knew that the only sign of drunkenness she was displaying was her flushed cheeks. Then again, she probably hadn't had quite as much to drink as Reno, but she had kept up with the rest of the Turks easily. Her boss arched an eyebrow at her.

"You can hold your alcohol." It was almost a compliment.

Elena couldn't fight down her blush.

Reno's comment was more to the point. "Shit, Laney, where did you learn to drink?"

She just shrugged. "My sister used to take me to bars with her at least once a week. By the time I was done with high school I had developed a reasonable tolerance."

At Rude's odd look, she felt pressed to further explain. "When a Turk says someone isn't underage, bartenders generally don't check ids."

Reno raised his glass to her. "I'll drink to that. To underage drinking."

Then he passed out and fell off the barstool. Elena giggled. Tseng just sighed, and Rude shrugged. She had a feeling she would getting used to this.


	2. Paying Up

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Paying Up**

Elena was glad she had a camera as she stood outside of the bar. She was definitely going to want proof of this. Not only would it make great blackmail material, but people weren't going to believe that it happened without proof. Reno had lost a bet to her. This wasn't all that surprising. Reno tended to forget that he couldn't drink her under the table after a few beers. He had even been the one to propose the bet. There might have been a time that Elena would have felt uncomfortable taking him up on it. That time had long passed.

So, the long and short of it was Reno had lost, and so he was due to arrive any minute now riding a unicycle while playing the bagpipes. Elena wasn't honestly sure where she had pulled that idea from, but it was going to be completely worth it see Reno pull this off. The distinctive sound of bagpipes began to fill the air, and Elena could see people up the street do double takes. She grinned and got her camera into place.

Reno came hurtling by, bagpipes blaring, and Elena snapped a picture before holding up the stopwatch that was in her other hand. He had to do this for five minutes or he was buying all the booze for the Turks for the next month. Elena smirked. No one was ever going to let Reno forget this, and maybe he would finally learn not tease her about her love life.


	3. Drunken Revelations

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Drunken Revelations**

Elena was still sober enough to have a little part of her mind telling her that this was a bad idea. She was ignoring that part right now. The woman was also ignoring the part of her mind that was warning her that it was bad idea that Reno had suggested this game in the first place. The female Turk was pleasantly buzzed on alcohol at this point, and she was acting rather cavalierly because of it. Then again, none of her co-workers had protested the idea of the game either, and both Tseng and Rude should have known better.

The rules were simple. They would go around in a circle, each person making a statements starting with the words "I've Never." If you had done whatever it was, you were fine. If you hadn't, you took a shot. And so the game continued until people started passing out. Elena was sure it would prove interesting as they worked their way around the circle a few times. Most of them were starting out with fairly innocuous statements like Tseng's "I've never filled out paperwork in green crayon."

Reno though had been obnoxious from the start with his "I've never had a crush on a coworker."

Elena glared at him as she took her shot. It had also prompted her statement.

"I've never lost a bet I've made while drunk."

Interestingly enough, all three men took at shot at that. Elena wondered just what other bets had been lost before she had joined the group. Rude followed that up with, "I've never worn three pairs of boxers on my head."

That was another one just for Reno. The game continued on, and Elena discovered that Rude and Tseng wore boxers on a regular basis, Reno had sparkly pink hair ties, and that Tseng had a rubber ducky. She had also revealed that her bra and panties didn't match, she had worn a school uniform, and she hated horror movies.

"I've never fallen in love with a coworker." Reno smirked.

Tseng met her eyes and took a shot. Elena nearly fumbled her own shot. She was going to kill Reno. As much as knowing that put a warm fuzzy feeling in her chest, Elena didn't need to learn it this way. And that was assuming that Tseng did indeed mean her. She was just inferring that from a look and his actions. Well, that and the fact that they were romantically involved outside of the office, but that really wasn't public knowledge. Even the public that consisted of Rude and Reno. Rufus probably knew, but then he seemed to know everything about their personal lives. Elena had learned to ignore it.

However, Reno sticking his nose her personal life was another story. And she had perfect ammunition to use against him. There was an assignment that the two of them had once that was not talked about. So Elena bided her time until it was her turn again.

"I've never earned the title Sparkly Pink Princess while dressed in drag and glitter followed by getting hit on by several drunken members of Avalanche."

Tseng and Rude stared at her. Reno nearly choked on his shot. Elena just smirked.


	4. Breaking the New Place In

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

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**Breaking the New Place In**

They attracted attention the moment they walked into the bar. Elena was used to it at this point. Reno really didn't do subtle, and besides, people were going to know they were Turks sooner or later, so it might as well be sooner. Reno and Rude staked out a table in a corner while Tseng set up a bar tab. Elena didn't really have a role in the new bar ritual as of yet. This was the first time she had been with when they broke a new place in.

However, it didn't take long for Reno to come up with something for her to do: namely order them drinks. Elena shrugged it off. She was the rookie on the team after all, and there were worse assignments. Besides, she did know most of the drinks that each member of the team preferred. Well, with Reno as long as it was alcohol he didn't really care, but both Tseng and Rude were a little more discerning. Tseng typically preferred sake if the bar had it and whiskey on the rocks if they didn't. Rude tended to stick with either beer or bourbon, depending on his mood (and what he might have to do in the morning).

Elena herself was rather fond of cocktails. She typically got a French Horn (vodka with black raspberry liqueur and a dash of lemon juice) or an English Rose (gin, crème de rose, lemon juice and sugar), though she had been known to experiment with new drinks more than once. She had no trouble getting the drinks back to their new table and only had to fend off idiots once. Of course, the four of them hadn't sat very long with their drinks before someone decided to take an exception to their presence.

Reno grins and cracks his knuckles. Elena just sighs and meets Tseng's eyes with a chagrined smile. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to repeat the bar fight too many times before people got used to them here.


	5. First Night On the Job

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

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**First Night on the Job**

Elena flashed a smile at the new man behind the bar. "Hey, could I get a Guinness, a shot of tequila, an Inishowen on the rocks, and a French Horn?"

The man smiled at her. "Sure, sweetheart. Anything else I could get you?"

Elena raised an eyebrow at his suggestive tone. Clearly, no one had clued him in yet. "A tray to carry the drinks would be great."

The man continued to flirt with her as he mixed the drinks. "Out with your girlfriends tonight? Or is this an after work unwind session? You can't tell me that all these drinks are just for you."

She sighed. "No, I'm here with my co-workers."

A glance back at the table in the corner of the bar informed him just who she was with, and Elena hoped that would be the end of the flirting. The bars tended to get irritated if the Turks "adjusted" the thinking of too many of their bartenders. People were starting to have trouble finding good help.

"And they're making you carry all the drinks? Don't tell me you also have to pay for them."

She gave the man a cool look. "No, it goes on our tab."

"Listen, sugar, feel free to ditch the guys once you've finished that round. I'll make sure you have a good time tonight."

Tseng chose that moment to come over to see what was taking her so long with the drinks.

"Problems, Elena?" His hand rest on the small of her back.

"No, sir. I was just on my way back."

"Good. I'll help you with the drinks."

Tseng gave the bartender a look before they headed back to their table. Elena hoped the man got a clue. Otherwise, he wouldn't last long here.


	6. Last One Standing

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Last One Standing**

Elena ducked. The chair went flying over her head. She rolled her eyes. So much for a nice night out after a long mission. No, Reno just had to start a bar fight. Given how many times people had insulted him over the years, one would think the man had gotten used to it. Elena wouldn't mind the fact that Reno used bar fights as a way to unwind if he would just do it when she wasn't around. Why hadn't she been wise like Tseng and decided to just go home? No, she just had to agree to go out for a few drinks with Reno and Rude.

With a sigh, Elena started rolling up her sleeves. She didn't want to spend all night dealing with a bar fight and its aftermath, so she was going to end this fight. Now. There wasn't a single person here that Elena couldn't handle, and given that most men never expected her to be a threat, this should be over quickly. At least, that was what Elena was hoping for. So, she waded into the fray and approached the nearest idiot involved. It took her less than a minute to subdue him and move on to the next idiot.

Ten minutes later, unconscious people outnumbered conscious ones in the bar. Elena let out a sigh, leaned on the bar, and ordered another drink.

"Reno, if you cause any more trouble between now and the time that I finish this drink and walk out the door, next time you get in a fight I'm going beat you up for them."


	7. The Drink Is On Me

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**The Drink Is On Me**

There were times when Elena wondered how Reno talked the three of them into these things. They all knew better than to play drinking games with the man. Of course, this one was far less problematic than others. All that happened as you bought the drink for the person to your left. In this case, Reno was buying Elena's drinks, she was buying Rude's drinks, Rude was buying Tseng's drinks, and Tseng was buying Reno's drinks. The only issue with the game was that you did have to drink what the other person ordered you. This had backfired on Reno. So far, all he'd had to drink was water and milk.

Then again, Reno had so far ordered her a 'Slow Comfortable Screw' and a 'Sex on the Beach'. Elena did not need his commentary on her sex life, thank you very much. So what if she hadn't been on a date in the past eight months? Unlike Reno, she had standards. Besides, quite honestly, she didn't need to add the complications of dating someone to her work life. If Tseng ever showed an interest in her, that was another story, but for now, Elena was more than happy to be single.

"A Screaming Orgasm for the lady," Reno told the bartender with a smirk.

Elena rolled her eyes. How utterly typical. With a sigh, she ordered Rude a Green Dragon. It wouldn't hurt him to drink something besides beer or bourbon. Rude ordered Tseng yet another sake (this was one of the few bars in Midgar that carried decent sake). Tseng shot Reno a dark look and quietly muttered something to the bartender. Moments later Reno was handed a tall glass of something that looked rather like tar to Elena's eyes. Reno wrinkled his nose at the drink.

"What is this?"

Tseng's face was unreadable. "Your drink."

"But what is it?"

Their leader just shrugged.

Reno took a swig and then promptly spit out all over the bar. Elena burst into giggles. Perhaps there was a reason she agreed to play these games after all.


	8. Singing Old Familiar Songs

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

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**Singing Old Familiar Songs**

As a rule, the Turks tended to avoid karaoke bars. It was bad for their reputation after all. However, it was the only bar in this town that actually served alcohol, so they were stuck. Technically, Elena supposed they didn't have to sing, just buy drinks and pay for the room, but it seemed like spending a lot of money for just sitting around the room drinking, and Reno was easily bored. So really, it was inevitable that they started singing. At least, they could be thankful that this was one of the bars with private rooms rather than being on display for the entire bar.

Another thing to be thankful for was the fact that Reno could actually sing. Otherwise, they would be stuck with an evening of pure torture. Reno might not be the best singer, but his voice wasn't painful to the ears either. And Elena would admit that she herself didn't mind singing a song or two. And it was always fun to try and get Rude to sing something ridiculous. So while this was an incredibly uncommon occurrence, Elena could enjoy it. Or that could be the five cocktails she'd had talking. She wasn't really drunk yet, but she was a little tipsy.

Thumbing through the book of songs, Elena looked for something that wasn't too cheesy. Why was it that all the really catchy tunes had extremely dumb lyrics most of the time? There was no way she was going to sing something that Reno could mock her with later on. Finally picking an older ballad that couldn't be used against her, Elena took the microphone when Reno finished his song. It only took a moment to punch her selection into the machine, and the music started.

Sometime during the second chorus, Elena realized that she wasn't the only one singing. It took her a moment to locate the other singer, and she nearly forgot the words she was singing when she realized that it was Tseng who was softly singing along. Her boss had a lovely baritone voice. Elena felt her grin widen and kept singing. She certainly wasn't going to draw attention to him, though she was definitely going to have to see what else she could get him to sing along with.


	9. Last Call

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Last Call**

Elena had the sinking feeling that they would not be coming back to this bar again. Not only were they getting murderous looks from most of the patrons, but Reno had managed to offend just about all of the bartenders and waitresses. Plus in the last four hours, there had been at least three fights. The Turks had won all of them, but between the property damage and the loss of clients, Elena didn't think that the bar's management appreciated them very much.

It really was two bad. This had been one of their nicer hangouts in Junon, and Elena rather liked it. It wasn't as much of a dive as most of the places they had hung out. However, it was really looking like they had outworn their welcome here. She just hoped that when they got kicked out, it would be a peaceful exit. She didn't really have much hope of that happening, but just for once she would like to be kicked out of a bar without violence being involved.

Sipping her drink, Elena kept an eye on the whispered conversation going on between two bartenders, a bouncer, and the man she'd pegged as the owner. Her guess was they had about twenty more minutes before someone broached the subject of them leaving and not coming back. She did a quick survey of the room. If it came to a fight, there weren't a lot of people left tonight to worry about. Of course, Reno was probably two drinks away from passing out. Rude was still in good shape though, and Tseng actually was only on his second drink. Elena herself was a little tipsy but not enough to impair her in a fight.

She had just finished her cocktail when the bouncer started heading their direction. With a sigh, she started rolling up her sleeves. She might not know just how they were getting kicked out of this bar be it by violence or simple agreement, but she might as well be ready.


	10. A Royal Flush

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**A Royal Flush**

She was never, ever letting the boys get them a private room at a bar again. That mental note was definitely getting priority. If they didn't have a private room, Elena doubted that any of them other than Reno would have been talked into strip poker. She had no idea what she had been thinking when she agreed to this. She quite honestly should have known better. It must have been the six drinks she'd had before hand. That was the only explanation she could come up with.

Currently, Elena was down to her shirt, bra, and panties. The guys for the most part were down to shirts and boxers save for Tseng. He was just missing his tie, jacket, and socks. Elena couldn't decide whether she wanted to kill him or wanted to get him to teach her how to maintain that completely blank expression. It was completely unfair that he seemed completely unaffected by this ordeal. She was past being embarrassed about having him see her like this. That was thanks to the four drinks she'd hand since the game had started.

Elena glanced down at her cards. It was a good hand. In fact, Elena almost had a flush. If she could just get the right card, she might be able to avoid too much more embarrassment. And just maybe she could get Reno back for suggesting this damn game. Though she had been rather amused to find out that he wore bright pink boxers with rubber duckies on them. At least he hadn't gone commando today. That could have been traumatizing for everyone involved. Well, except for Reno.

Tseng was the only who they trusted to deal, and as he began doling out cards, Elena bit her lip, trying to figure out what her best options were. With a sigh, Elena asked for one more card. She took another swig of her drink before looking at her card. Then a slow smile spread across her lips. Perhaps there was something to be said for this game after all. Either that or she was finally drunk enough that she just didn't care. Which ever it was, she still had a winning hand.


	11. Under the Table

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Under the Table**

Elena was careful to keep her blond airhead act in place. There was no way she was tipping these boys off to the fact they had been had yet. Due to the fact that she had not been in uniform when they'd arrived at the bar, these idiots had no idea that she was a Turk. Reno had proceeded to get into an argument with a bunch of rich boys which had lead to them challenging Elena to a drinking contest. It was a contest that Elena was going to win.

She tossed back her eighth shot with no problem. They were only drinking tequila after all, and it would take at least four more shots before Elena had any more reaction than flushed cheeks and a pleasant buzz. Her opponent was not fairing so well.

"Ready to give up yet?" She giggled.

The man across from her scoffed. "In your dreams, little girl."

Elena just shrugged and took another shot. The poor fool and his friends were going to lose quite a bit of money, but she couldn't bring herself to feel sorry for them. Especially not when one of the first things they had tried to do was get into her pants. Tseng had warned them off before she had needed to break any bones. He was currently standing behind her chair, ready in case someone decided to interfere with the contest.

"If I win tis contescht," the man slurred across from her, "you hav to let me buy you a dwink."

Elena arched an eyebrow at him. "Not very likely. I don't accept drinks from men I don't know."

He snorted, listing to the side, and he sloshed his next drink, spilling half of it down his front. Elena just shook her head. Time to end this. She knocked back another two shots in quick succession. She gave the idiot a look. He gave her a droopy smile and fell out of his chair. Elena rose to her feet and stepped over his unconscious body.

"I believe I win."


	12. The Other Side of the Street

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**The Other Side of the Street**

Elena was aware that she was well on her way to get really drunk. She was planning on getting all the way there before the night was over. There was a reason for this. The only bar in town that had let them in was the local gay bar, and Elena was feeling very out of place. For one thing, she was the only woman in the room. For another, she was getting really sick of men hitting on Tseng. He was finally hers, and she shouldn't have to deal with this sort of thing. It was just completely unfair.

But Reno had made a fuss about getting and drink or eight after their latest mission (which had been a doozey), and so she was stuck with this bar. Still, Tseng's arm around her shoulders was a comfortable weight, and Elena was trying to relax. Tomorrow they would be headed home, and she could forget that this night ever happened. The bartender brought her another drink, and Elena had just started sipping it when an incredibly handsome young man came up to them. Ignoring her existence entirely, he began blatantly hitting on Tseng. After about two minutes of this, Elena decided she had had enough.

"Listen, buddy." She poked the man in the chest. "He's taken. Why don't you find someone else to harass."

The man looked down his nose at her. "You're drunk, little girl. Why don't you sit down and shut up like a good girl and let the men talk?"

Elena snarled. "Look, buster, I make be drunk, but I can kick your ass any day of the week. If you want to take it outside, I'd be happy to break every bone in your body."

Tseng muffled a laugh. Elena gave him a look. He just pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I'd listen to her. My girl gets a little violent when she's drunk."


	13. An Evening in Heaven

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**An Evening in Heaven**

Elena wasn't entirely sure that this was a good idea. In fact, Elena was pretty sure that spending a night at Seventh Heaven was a really bad idea. But here they were, and hopefully, the bar would still be standing when they left. The main reason the Turks were spending the night drinking here was because all of the other bars in the area had banned them. Tifa hadn't done that yet. Elena didn't know how long that would last.

So far, everyone was behaving. Elena would say they were on their best behavior, except that Reno didn't have best behavior. Hell, she wasn't sure that Reno had good behavior. At least she knew that Tifa could deal with the idiot. Elena leaned back in their both and sipped her cocktail. This was a nice bar compared to many of the places they spent their evenings. Elena always appreciated it when they weren't stuck in a dive.

Tifa dropped off a fresh round of drinks. "Everyone doing all right?"

Elena nodded. "Yes, thanks. Has there been any trouble yet?"

"Not unless you count Reno's lousy pickup lines."

"Good. Let me know if you need a hand with him."

"Will do."

Elena leaned into the arm Tseng had wrapped around her. It was nice to have an evening where they weren't so tired from work that they just collapsed into bed. Admittedly, she and Tseng were collapsing into the same bed these days, but still, Elena would enjoy more nights like this one: calm and relaxed. The Turks had been busier than usual for the past few weeks, and while Elena loved her job, there were times when she needed a break. Tseng leaned down to kiss her, and Elena let out a content sigh. Yes, every once in a while a calm night off was exactly what she needed.


	14. Buddy Can You Spare a Line

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Buddy Can You Spare a Line?**

Elena considered her drink with a sigh. The boys were supposed to be meeting her here, but they hadn't showed up yet. And she had been here for thirty minutes now. In that time, Elena had been hit by fifteen different men at least twenty-eight times. It was getting old. And since being hit on really wasn't sufficient reason to break bones, the idiots kept hitting on her. As much as she hated to admit it, Elena's best determent to men was the presence of her coworkers.

At least the drinks here were good. Elena sipped at her drink. It had been a long day, and Elena was more than ready to relax. And that wasn't going to happen until these idiots stopped hitting on her.

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

Elena rolled her eyes and didn't even bother to look at the guy who had just sat down next to her. "Go away."

"Ah, come on, baby. Don't be like that. I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by you."

She sighed deeply. "I am not interested. I am, however, waiting for someone. Go away."

"You don't have to play hard to get. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you."

Elena turned and gave him the coldest glare she could muster. "This is your last warning. If you don't leave me alone, I will break every bone in your body and then I'll let the guys I'm waiting for remove your toenails, your fingernails, and your teeth. And then we will kill you."

The man blinked at her. Elena just held his gaze a moment longer then took another swig of her drink. A hand came down on her shoulder. Without looking, Elena reached back and grabbed the offending wrist, intending to break it. Instead, the person grabbed her wrist and immobilized it before leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"Sorry, we're late."

Elena just smiled at Tseng. "It's about time."


	15. Sing a Song

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters. The Hedgehog Song is from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series.

* * *

**Sing a Song**

"Reno, for the love of little green apples, would you just shut up!" Elena was not at all willing to put up with her fellow Turk's singing anymore.

"You're just jealous because you don't know any good drinking songs."

Elena raised an eyebrow. "Is that a challenge?"

Reno just shrugged. "Tseng probably knows more drinking songs than you do."

"So what are you going to bet me that I can sing a drinking song that you don't know?"

It was Rude's turn to raise an eyebrow. "You think there's a drinking song Reno doesn't know? I hadn't ever heard of half of the songs until I started working with him."

Elena just rolled her eyes. "Yes. He knows Seven Drunken Nights, Whiskey in the Jar, Walking Down Canal Street, and Beer Boys Beer. He still doesn't know them all."

Tseng's lips were a quirked in a half smile. Rude just shook his head. Reno scoffed.

"Prove it."

Elena sat up a little bit straighter and began to sing. "You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care, in the winter, when he is asleep in his lair. Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall- but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all. If you're feeling quite coarse, you can bugger the horse, or the palfrey, the jennet, the stallion (with force). You can bugger the donkey, the mare, or the mule. Though to bugger the pony is needlessly cruel. You can bugger the ox (if you stand on a box). And vulpologists say you can bugger the fox, You can bugger the shrew, though it's awfully small- but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all. Herpetologists gasp you can bugger the asp, Etymologists claim you can bugger the wasp. If an insects your thing, man, then just have a ball- But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all. You-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Reno interrupted her. "How the hell do you know that song and why haven't I heard it before?"

Elena just laughed. "I learned on that mission where you all had me impersonating a country girl. An old lady at the local tavern knew it."

Reno looked at her in wonder. Tseng simply held out a hand to Rude who gave him a stack of gil.

"You've got to teach me that song," Reno insisted.

Elena just laughed and started to sing again.


	16. Fins

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Fins**

The first thing Elena noticed when arriving at the bar was that they had a pool table. She sighed. Now she knew why Reno had chosen this place. After she had soundly thrashed him three times at pool, Reno had decided he'd had enough of humiliation and instead he'd rather make some money. So at just about every bar they'd been to lately, Elena ended up playing pool against some idiot Reno had bet with. Since she was getting a cut of the money, Elena didn't mind too much, but she was beginning to wonder how long it would take until someone noticed what Reno was up too.

But she could enjoy the profit while it was still coming in. Besides, there were a couple of the idiots who completely deserved getting had. So she made her way over to the bar to get her drink before heading over to the table Reno and Rude had commandeered for them. Tseng had stayed in the office with paperwork tonight.

"Hey, Laney."

"Hey."

The three of them enjoyed an hour or so of drinks and conversation. And then the moron walked into the bar and decided to get into her pants. When he started flashing money around, she decided she was going to drain him dry. Especially when he kept calling her "chickie". So Elena let him buy her several drinks and draw her into a game of pool which she lost on purpose. Then with a giggle, she suggested they play again, this time for money. And to sweet the pot, she pulled out five hundred gil, cash.

That was all it took for the idiot to empty his pockets and his wallet. And then the game began. Elena let the man go first and work himself into a position where it looked like he couldn't lose. Then she took him down. Systematically and ruthlessly. And when the man handed over his money, Elena smiled and showed her teeth.


	17. All Together Now

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters. This is set after Advent Children.

* * *

**All Together Now**

There really was only one way to survive these speeches of Rufus'. As he made them in a secure studio, there was no real work for the Turks to do during them, and that meant that they simply had to endure. And it wasn't particularly surprising that Reno had come up with a drinking game to make it more bearable. So the four of them were settled on a couch with several bottles of booze between them, ready to watch the broadcast of the latest speech.

Tseng poured out the first round of shots. Everyone took their glass and waited.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Midgar," Rufus began, "we have an opportunity at hand."

The Turks readied themselves for the first shot.

"…we are moving into a new era for…"

At the words "new era" everyone took a shot. Rufus was extremely fond of that phrase. Elena refilled the glasses. Rufus was just getting started. Reno had compiled a list of phrases that required a shot, things like "rebuilding together" and "a friend to the people of Midgar". There were other things as well. Whenever Rufus paused for dramatic effected, they took a shot. Whenever Rufus compared Midgar to a phoenix, they took a shot. Quite honestly, they were all well on their way to being drunk after the first fifteen minutes of the speech. Elena had seen the full text of the speech. This thing was going to last awhile.

A half hour into Rufus's speech, Elena found herself unable to stop giggling. She was now sprawled across Tseng's lap. Her jack was gone as was her tie. Tseng had just topped of her glass again. He didn't seem to mind the new seating arrangement. Of course, he seemed the most sober of them all at this point. Rufus was still talking, and when he mentioned something about "a bright future for all", and Reno laughed.

"You shaid it, shir," he slurred as he knocked back the shot.

Elena just giggled and took her own shot. Rufus' speeches were boring, but there were worse ways to pass the time.


	18. Five O'Clock Somewhere

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters. This is set after Advent Children.

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**Five O'clock Somewhere**

This was the probably the fifth bar they'd been in today. Elena had actually lost count at this point. In fact, she was fuzzy around the edges about everything at this point. She wasn't really drunk (mostly because she had been downing as many drinks as Reno), but she definitely wasn't sober either. But then again, they were on vacation. Well, at least Reno's idea of vacation. Elena would have preferred a week on a beach with drinks that had little umbrellas, but apparently it was Reno's turn to pick where they went. Elena wasn't sure who had thought that was a good idea, but here they were on the bar crawl in Wutai.

Tseng had no joined them which was one Elena's main regrets about this trip, thought at least for once she wasn't the only female on the trip. Yuffie had joined the group once they'd arrived, but she was holding up to the pace so far, and Elena enjoyed having another girl around. And it was fun having help making the guys uncomfortable. Besides, Yuffie was good at putting Reno in his place.

Their drinks arrived, and Elena knocked back a shot.

"Missing lover boy yet, Laney?"

Elena rolled her eyes at Reno while Yuffie kicked him in the shin.

"Shut up, Reno."

"Aw, Laney, you're no fun."

She signaled the bartender. She needed another drink as well as a different vacation.


	19. Triple Dog Dare

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Triple Dog Dare**

Elena was already regretting this, and it wasn't even morning yet. And to think that this had been Tseng's idea. Of course, the game Reno had suggested had been worse but still. Who would have thought that her boss of all people would suggest that they play truth or dare? Given the fact that everyone was rather drunk, Elena didn't think that anyone's best judgment was involved in this little endeavor. Still, since she wasn't about to let things devolve into strip poker again, she was stuck playing. And since everyone was bored and at the bar, there really weren't a lot of other good ideas floating around.

Tseng appropriately enough went first. "Reno, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

Tseng's lips curved into a smile. "Go without alcohol for the rest of the night."

Elena bit back a giggle at that. Reno really was going to regret getting this started. Reno just pouted.

"Fine. Elena, truth or dare?"

She weighed her options. Neither was really a safe choice, but she would have to chose one of them. The question was which was the safer choice. With a sigh, she finally chose. "Truth."

Reno smirked. "Just what exactly happened during that mission that you ended up wearing Tseng's shirt, a pair of bright green panties, and nothing else?"

Elena sighed again. "I ran out of clothes that weren't contaminated."

That was all truth. There was a little more to the story than that, but Elena didn't plan on sharing with Reno. He made a face at her but didn't contest her answer. Elena turned her attention to Rude.

"Truth or dare?"

And so the game went on. For the most part, nothing too embarrassing got leaked. Though Rude and Reno did learn that Tseng had a rubber duckie in his bathtub. (Elena had already known that.) To tell the truth, it wasn't the most fun game to play if only because people were so wary of putting themselves in a bad situation. If it weren't for Reno's dogged determination to get something out of somebody, it would have been abandoned a long time ago.

Finally, in frustration, Reno tried something desperate. "Tseng, truth or dare?"

Tseng simply arched an eyebrow. Elena wondered how he could still do that after drinking so much.

"Truth."

Reno smirked. "What exactly is the status of your relationship with Elena?"

"Married."

Reno sputtered and fell off his chair. Elena burst into giggles. It was true enough. She and Tseng had gotten married the last time they were in Wutai. It wasn't like it changed things that much. Elena had already been living with Tseng at the time. Reno mumbled something incomprehensible from his spot on the floor.

"I think you broke, Reno." She leaned against him.

Tseng pressed a kiss to her temple. "He'll survive."


	20. Drinks on the House

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

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**Drinks On the House**

There really was nothing like getting completely wasted in order to celebrate a victory. And they really did have something to celebrate tonight. The mission that had been completed this afternoon had been rather hellish at times, though they had gotten to blow several things. But it was all over now and quite successfully too. So the four of them had descended on the bar and were making the most of their victory.

For once Elena really didn't care that she was on her way to being very drunk. She'd spent the last three weeks having to walk around every day in high heels and one of the most uncomfortable uniforms possible. Now, however, she was curled up beside Tseng in the corner of their both with her feet up and her shoes off. And as much as she was looking forward to their private celebration of the victory, there really was something fun about the whole team celebrating too.

Besides, Reno always provided free entertainment. Currently, he was attempting to woo one of the bartenders, and the girl was proving quite resistant to his charms. Elena applauded her taste. It would be interesting to see just how far Reno would take this chase. He often didn't know when cut his losses. Of course, given that he had managed an on again off again relationship with Yuffie Kisagiri, maybe Reno wasn't completely hopeless.

But the bartender seemed to have had enough. She set a bottle down.

"Drinks are on the house!"

There was a large exodus of patrons up the stairs to the roof with Reno leading the pack.

The rest of the Turks burst into laughter Elena giggled and shot the bartender a grin, raising her glass in a salute. The woman smiled back.

"Works every time."


	21. Questionable Judgement

Author's note: I do not own Final Fantasy Seven or its characters.

* * *

**Questionable Judgment**

There were times that watching a drunken Reno was like watching a car wreck. It could be gruesome, but you just couldn't look away. Elena rather felt that she really should do something to stop the on coming train wreck, but she really couldn't be bothered. She was pleasantly drunk and tucked up against Tseng. All in all, she was quite content.

Reno, however, was drunk as a skunk, and Yuffie was in the same state. The two of the kept alternating between flirting, quarrelling, and making out. In that order. It was sort of cute, but Elena did have a bad feeling about this. Neither of those two was exactly thinking clearly. Tseng shook his head at them and pressed a kiss to Elena's temple. Elena just sighed and watched them. The pair had gotten to the quarreling stage again.

"You don't really love me!"

"What are you talking about, babe? Of course I love you."

Yuffie sniffed. "If you really loved me, you would have gotten serious about us."

"What do you want? For me to propose?" Reno glared at her. "You wouldn't say yes if I did."

"Why don't try it and find out?"

"Fine. Will you marry me?"

"Of course, you idiot."

And then they were making out again. Elena shook her head and looked up at Tseng.

"So who's going to tell them they're engaged tomorrow?"


End file.
